How To Tame Your Anxiety Beast
There are days that my anxiety is so high that I can’t get a hold of it. I feel hopeless, lost and overwhelmed.
Can you relate?
When I first started practicing yoga and mindfulness to help manage my anxiety, I thought I could actually make it “go away” by staying “present” all the time. Maybe you share the same hope that one day your anxiety will vanish into thin air! Although that sounds amazing, anxiety doesn’t just go away. However, we can learn how to navigate it, even on high emotional days. Here’s a closer look at why anxiety doesn’t just disappear and how you can better manage high anxiety days with confidence and compassion until you are able to return back to a clear mind and a balanced heart.
Why Anxiety Doesn’t Just Go Away
Last week a very old trigger sent me into a pretty significant downward spiral. My judgy voice was trying to convince me I had done something wrong and because of it, no one would like me anymore and the only way to fix the situation was to apologize for being the flawed and useless human I had become. Really nice, right?
On days like that, it’s almost impossible to gain control over your mind. I meditated, I went for a walk, I leaned into my feelings and nothing seemed to stop the voice or the fact that I was believing every mean word she was saying to me. And what’s worse is that I found myself wondering why on earth anyone with anxiety would trust me to help them! I said to my dear friend, “I teach other people how to deal with their anxiety and I can’t even manage my own! I’m a total imposter!” I was doing “all the things” to try and stop it and nothing was working.
Why wasn’t my anxiety going away?!
Let’s look at how anxiety happens in the first place. Although researchers aren’t 100% sure what causes anxiety, they have concluded that you are more likely to develop it if:
You’ve had trauma in your life (environmental factors)
Your biological relatives have anxiety (If you want to nerd out - check out this review of studies in 2017 that concluded Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is linked to a number of different genes and therefore can be inherited)
You have a physical condition that can trigger anxiety, such as a thyroid imbalance.
Based on all that, there’s a good chance your anxiety won’t just disappear because you “will it” to go away. You can do the work to heal old trauma and you can learn to manage your anxious mind, but it probably won’t just vanish into thin air. So instead of wishing for a magic trick, we need to change our perspective and consider anxiety something we can become accustomed to instead of something we should be able to remove.
Also, it takes a lot of energy and strength to ignore the voices in your head. Think of it like swimming upstream. The natural tendency is to believe the voices in your head - like swimming with the current, it comes easy! Any time you go against the current you have to work hard to relearn your natural tendencies.
Some days it’s very easy to swim upstream and not actively listen to your anxiety. Either the flow of the current isn’t strong or you have lots of energy to swim against it. You can simply brush it off with a quick “Letting Go Breath” or a walk in nature. Other days, when your energy is low and you are stressed or depleted, it becomes much harder to find the momentum and strength you need to swim upstream. Even if the river’s current is fast or slow, the voices eventually win, the current takes over and you find yourself caught in a downward anxious spiral.
Ride The Wave
Knowing that you can’t get rid of your anxiety can create a sense of freedom. But that will only get you so far during really anxious days.
When an intense situation, feeling or experience occurs you have two choices. The first choice is to “Ride The Wave” and be with it. Riding The Wave means sitting with the intensity of the moment, letting it come in and letting it move out.
To Ride The Wave, you first step back and take the seat of the witness. Breathe, relax, feel, watch and allow the emotions and thoughts as they arise, peak and pass through. Don’t try to change anything or act out. Simply sit with your thoughts and emotions, breathe and watch what comes up. Riding the wave of uncomfortable emotions may just release an old belief or thought pattern that can integrate and heal some of your anxiety.
Distract Your Mind
If your emotions are just too high and you can’t be with the intensity of your anxiety, the second choice is to distract your mind. This technique is not avoidance. It’s simply a temporary state to take you “away” from the intense situation so that you can eventually go back to with a clear mind.
Here are seven ways to temporarily engage your mind so you can move through difficult emotions.
Get Moving
Do an activity that physically engages most of your senses. Go for a walk, organize your closet, spend time in your garden, etc.Get Involved
Contribute to something greater than you by supporting a friend, helping a colleague with a project, volunteering, etc.Find Comparisons
Gain perspective by comparing your situation or struggle to other more difficult struggles that you’ve overcome. But make sure not to compare yourself to others - keep this as a list of internal battles you have won!Do The Opposite
Invoke emotions that are opposite to the ones you’re feeling. If you’re feeling anxious, listen to soothing music, ocean waves or birds chirping. If you are feeling sad, watch a comedy clip.Find A Time To Be Anxious
Sometimes telling your anxiety that you will sit with it later can be very helpful. Pick a time in your day and choose to Ride The Wave only during that time.Engage Your Mind
Start an activity that stimulates your mind like a puzzle, reading or journaling. This will help move your mind away from ruminating thoughts.Stimulate Your Senses
Bring your mind to the present moment by creating sensations in the body. Clasp your hands, jump up and down, listen to loud music, take a hot shower or bath, etc.
Anxiety is no joke. It is crippling and debilitating and can take over in a flash, leaving you to feel overwhelmed, hopeless and exhausted. When that happens, it’s key to remember that you can’t just make it go away. AND! You can choose to either be with it and Ride The Wave, or distract yourself until you feel more grounded and calm to deal with it.