Your Step By Step Guide to Stop Overthinking the Bad Stuff
It feels almost impossible to stop your mind from overthinking - especially when we are caught in worry about bad stuff. It’s exhausting! When you are worried, your mind jumps from one thought to the next - spending tons of energy but getting nowhere.
The worst part is that it is all consuming. You can’t focus on anything else, you feel sick to your stomach, you might spend hours researching your concerns on the internet, or you might even jump to conclusions and react to situations that can end up damaging relationships.
Trust me, I know. Cause I’ve been there.
I can’t tell you how many text messages I’ve sent trying to resolve an issue with someone else that I created in my head, only to find out they were never upset or frustrated with me in the first place.
That is until I learned a few simple mindfulness techniques that really help me stop overthinking and calm my anxious mind on a regular basis. And I want the same for you! Here are three simple steps you can take to ease your worry and better manage your anxiety.
STEP 1: RECOGNIZE
The first step is to recognize when you are feeling anxious. Each of us will feel anxiety differently, so learn to recognize the symptoms you experience in an anxious moment.
You might notice:
You can’t stop worrying, especially about things you can’t control.
You find yourself saying “what if” a lot, either out loud or to yourself.
You relive embarrassing moments or think repeatedly about mistakes you’ve made.
You have trouble sleeping because it feels like your mind won’t turn off.
When you think about prior conversations with people, you spend time worrying about what you did or didn’t say.
You spend a lot of time dwelling on a possible hidden meaning behind things people say or events that have happened.
You miss out on the present moment because your mind is focused in the past or future.
STEP 2: PAUSE
Once you notice you are overthinking, the second step is to pause. Think of it like snapping a rubber band on your wrist. You need that “ah-ha” moment to create just a little bit of space between anxiety and your reaction to it so that you can turn on your executive function of the brain and start to think things through.
You can do this one of two ways.
You might say to yourself or out loud, “I’m feeling anxious right now.” That statement alone can wake you up to the present moment and snap the thinking brain back into action.
Or, you can take a letting go breath. Think of this as a way to release the tension building up in your mind and body.
Letting Go Breath:
Close your eyes
Take in a slow, deep breath through your nose
Exhale with a long, soft sigh out your mouth
Repeat this deep inhale and sighing exhale three times
At this point, if you choose to stay stuck and let your anxiety control you, that’s OK. Somedays I actually choose to be anxious because that’s what I believe I need - to simply feel all my feelings. However, there are other times I can tell I’m staying stuck in my anxiety because I’m overwhelmed, afraid of change or my inner critic is telling me otherwise. Becoming aware of your own thoughts, feelings and emotions helps you realize that you are not those things. You are the one that can observe them.
STEP 3: CONCENTRATE YOUR MIND ON THE PRESENT MOMENT
A concentrating mind is a calm mind. Give your mind something else to do to stop it from spinning terrible thoughts. When you bring your awareness to the present moment, your mind can slow down, allowing your nervous system to relax which leaves you feeling grounded and at peace.
Below are four ways you can concentrate the mind. One way is not particularly better than the other. Try them all to see which one(s) work best for you!
Visual - Notice Three Objects
After you pause, look around to find one object. As you focus in, notice the object’s shape, color and size. Notice if it's moving or still. Notice as many details about it as you can. Take a few moments to get intimate and curious about this one object. Then gently move your focus to a second object and repeat that same curious exploration. Finally, move to a third object and notice as much as you can.
Sound - Identify Three Sounds
Close your eyes and identify one sound close to you. Maybe it is a car traveling, or a bird chirping, or a furnace humming. Focus on the vibrations of the sound. Then gently shift your awareness to a sound furthest away from you. What can you hear? What is the vibration? Finally, shift your awareness to a third sound and get as curious about that sound as you can.
Touch - Identify Three Items You Feel
Identify something you can feel. It might be your feet on the floor or your butt in a chair. Or maybe it’s the air on your skin. Get curious about how that feels and then find a second touch point. Notice the connection of your hands on your lap or the bend of your knees. Finally, bring your awareness to a third touchpoint and get curious about how that feels.
Breathe - Box Breathing
Close your eyes and bring your awareness to your breath. Then begin box breathing for 3-4 rounds:
Inhale to the count of four
Hold your breath in for a count of four
Exhale to the count of four
Hold your breath out to the count of four
If the count of four is too long or too short, modify to meet your individualized needs. Just make sure the breath is smooth, steady and even.
After concentrating your mind, pause and feel the imprint these techniques have left on your body and mind. You might notice your thoughts are more clear with space between them and you may feel less anxious and more grounded and calm.
So there you have it! Three mindfulness steps that take less than 5 minutes to slow down your overthinking mind, bring your anxious mind back to the present moment and give you the confidence you need to better manage your anxiety. As with most suggestions I share, make sure to try a few at first to see which ones resonate for you. Practice them when you aren’t feeling incredibly anxious to see how you feel. Then, in the moment, you’ll be ready to grab the one that works best for you!
Finally, the practice of meditation is also a great way to practice these techniques. Interested in trying it out but don’t know where to start? Download my Free Guide, Simple Mind: Tips To Start Meditating With Ease”. This step-by-step guide is designed to take the mystery out of starting a meditation practice along with meditation strategies you can do right now.